Group wall: LearnScripture Poetry and Laughs§↻

Oof I forgot this website :(

😂 😂 😂

Media Alert

While working as a television news camera man, I arrived at an accident scene, and a camera man from another station pulled up behind me. As I parked the news cruiser I heard a policeman on the scanner using the radio phonetic alphabet to alert other officers. "Be aware that the Mike Echo Delta India Alpha has arrived," he said.


I approached the officer, looked him in the eye and said, "You might be surprised to know that some of us in the Mike Echo Delta India Alpha can Sierra Papa Echo Lima Lima."

😂

Good story, and good joke!!!

A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week.

"Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark."

The following week, at the beginning of the class meeting, the teacher said, "Now then, all of you who have prepared for the lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please step to the front of the room."

About half the class rose and came forward.

"The rest of you may leave," said the teacher. "These students are the ones I want to talk to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark."

I know this isn’t really a joke, but it’s something to think about.

One day, a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered, "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden, and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden, and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard, and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on, and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."

Those are both awful!!!

After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."

"Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"

"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."

🤣

This one's good,

My pastor friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church and after two weeks took them out. I asked him why and he confessed that they worked fine but when he went in there he saw a sign that read,

"For a sample of this week's sermon, push the button."

Get it? 'Hot air'!!!

That’s a good one treeswallow.
Doglover, a lot of these are ones I’ve heard over my many years (that made me sound a lot older than I am) found on the internet, and such. A good site for clean jokes is GCFL.net. I’ve gotten a few from it.

Where do u guys find all of these funny things?

Ha! Good one Jappel!

Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

dun dun DUNNN

Fatherhood

Four expectant fathers were in the hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.

The nurse comes in and tells the first man, "Congratulations! You're the father of twins!"

"What a coincidence!" the man exclaims. "I work for the Twin Star Enterprise!"

The nurse returns a short while later and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets!"

"Wow, what a coincidence!" he replies. "I work for the 3M Corporation!"

When the nurse comes again, she tells the third man that his wife has given birth to quadruplets.

"Another coincidence! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"

At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?! I work for Seven-Up!"

That’s one I knew

Very funny!

What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?

Ruth-less.

😂

Oh wow!!!! 😂😂😂 that’s hilarious.

How many wives did Solomon have?

700 wives and 300 cucumber vines

Here you go,

Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?

Pharaoh’s daughter: she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

HAHA I love it

😄 that’s a good one.

Here's an interesting one,

A man went on a nature walk. A bear began to chase him, so he climbed a tree. As he was climbing he slipped down into the bear's arms. He prayed, "Lord let this be a Christian bear." The bear said, "Lord, thank you for this food."

I don’t believe is Legends.

hi i am new here!!!

That’s an interesting one.

And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

😂😂😂

Legend says that discus competitions started when Ancient Greeks tried to load the dishwasher.

A friend of mine says he sees a lot of flying saucers at work.
He is a very clumsy waiter.

😂, onfire247 that is funny.

I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She asked me, "How did you know it was on its way to work?"

😆 what’s slightly ironic is that I heard that one like… two days ago.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey.

Thanks for stopping the dark stuff.

Do you want to see the lyrics for a Christian Pop Song?

🎶Do you have faith that moves Mountain Dew?🎶

🎶Do you have faith that moves Mountain Dew?🎶

🎶Do you have faith that moves Mountain Dew?🎶

🎶Wait!!! That’s Soda!!!🎶

I do want to apologize for getting uppity. It wasn’t right. Thank you guys for being honest.

Thank you, Landon, I'm glad you are brave enough to speak out. And thank you to everyone for calming down, I'm glad to see you sharing jokes and laughing with each other again.

What do you call a Christmas Lion at the beach?
Sandy-clause

would you guys stop with the drama we all are Christian we shouldn't be even causing in the first place we are here for God and Jesus, we are Christians after all so stop all this drama will ya thanks bye bye