Group wall: LearnScripture Poetry and Laughs§↻

why don't clams give to charity? because their shell-fish.

what musical instrument do Spanish fishermen play on? cast-a-nets. XD

Looking to the hills...
Where will my help come from now?
Help comes from the LORD.

PSALM 121:1

A HAIKU - by Oluremi7

-24/07/2026

Great joke DanielD!

what did the robot's gravestone say? RIP. Rust In Pieces.

Christ returns again!
Ev'ry eye shall behold him-
All will hail our King!

-A Haiku by me, Oluremi7 -Sunday 05 July 2026,
21.53 Hrs BST

Lead, Kindly Light - by John Henry Newman, 1833

1 Lead, kindly Light, amid th' encircling gloom,

Lead Thou me on;

The night is dark, and I am far from home,

Lead Thou me on.

Keep Thou my feet;
I do not ask to see

The distant scene;
one step enough for me.

2 I was not ever thus, nor prayed that
Thou

Shouldst lead me on;

I loved to choose and see my path; but now

Lead Thou me on.

I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,

Pride ruled my will;
Remember not past years.

3 So long Thy power hath blessed me, sure it still

Will lead me on.

O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till

The night is gone;

And with the morn those angel faces smile,

Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile.

Who Am I Rhyming Riddles (and scriptural references) - Oluremi7

1 I had no mom, I had no dad,

I lived in a garden, pure and glad.

But I ate the fruit I shouldn't take,

Because I listened to a sneaky snake.

Who am I?

Adam (Genesis 3:6)

2 The king passed a law that I couldn't pray,

But I knelt and talked to God anyway.

They threw me down in a den so deep,

But God shut the lions' mouths so I could sleep!

Who am I?

Daniel (6:16)

3 God gave me muscles, hair, and might,

To help protect His people and fight.

But a haircut took my strength away,

Until I prayed hard on my final day.

Who am I?

Samson (Judges 16:17)

4 I wore fuzzy camel hair everyday,

And ate wild locusts along the way.

In the Jordan River, I preached with a shout,

To prepare the way for what Jesus was about!

Who am I?

John the Baptist (Matthew 3:4)

5 I was a friend of Jesus, loved and well-known,

But I died and was buried behind a stone.

Four days later, Jesus shouted my name,

And I walked right out, alive just the same!

Who am I?

Lazarus of Bethany (John 11:43)

what is a pigs favorite karate move? porkchop.

what happened when the red ship & the blue ship collided? there crews were marooned. XD

Who would true valour see,
Let him come hither;
One here will constant be,
Come wind, come weather.
There's no discouragement
Shall make him once relent
His first avowed intent,
To be a pilgrim.

Whoso beset him round
With dismal stories
Do but themselves confound;
His strength the more is.
No lion can him fright,
He'll with a giant fight,
But he will have a right
To be a pilgrim.

Hobgoblin, nor foul fiend,
Can daunt his spirit:
He knows, he at the end
Shall life inherit.
Then fancies fly away,
He'll fear not what men say,
He'll labour night and day
To be a pilgrim.

-John Bunyan

I was going to tell a paper joke, but it was terrible. XD

One day an Indian drank 10 gallons of tea. That night he drowned in his teapee!

Skeptical Teacher: Take the crossing of the Red Sea, for instance. We know that at that time of year, the Red Sea was just an inch and a half deep."

Smart Student: Wow, here's the marvel! God drowned that whole Egyptian Army in only an inch and a half of water!

one of my friends is a Buddhist & he ask me what the was the sound of a one hand clap so I reached over and slapped him across the face.

what trees have square roots? geometry.

Oof I forgot this website :(

😂 😂 😂

Media Alert

While working as a television news camera man, I arrived at an accident scene, and a camera man from another station pulled up behind me. As I parked the news cruiser I heard a policeman on the scanner using the radio phonetic alphabet to alert other officers. "Be aware that the Mike Echo Delta India Alpha has arrived," he said.


I approached the officer, looked him in the eye and said, "You might be surprised to know that some of us in the Mike Echo Delta India Alpha can Sierra Papa Echo Lima Lima."

😂

Good story, and good joke!!!

A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week.

"Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark."

The following week, at the beginning of the class meeting, the teacher said, "Now then, all of you who have prepared for the lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please step to the front of the room."

About half the class rose and came forward.

"The rest of you may leave," said the teacher. "These students are the ones I want to talk to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark."

I know this isn’t really a joke, but it’s something to think about.

One day, a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered, "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden, and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden, and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard, and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on, and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."

Those are both awful!!!

After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."

"Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"

"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."

🤣

This one's good,

My pastor friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church and after two weeks took them out. I asked him why and he confessed that they worked fine but when he went in there he saw a sign that read,

"For a sample of this week's sermon, push the button."

Get it? 'Hot air'!!!

That’s a good one treeswallow.
Doglover, a lot of these are ones I’ve heard over my many years (that made me sound a lot older than I am) found on the internet, and such. A good site for clean jokes is GCFL.net. I’ve gotten a few from it.

Where do u guys find all of these funny things?

Ha! Good one Jappel!

Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

dun dun DUNNN

Fatherhood

Four expectant fathers were in the hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.

The nurse comes in and tells the first man, "Congratulations! You're the father of twins!"

"What a coincidence!" the man exclaims. "I work for the Twin Star Enterprise!"

The nurse returns a short while later and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets!"

"Wow, what a coincidence!" he replies. "I work for the 3M Corporation!"

When the nurse comes again, she tells the third man that his wife has given birth to quadruplets.

"Another coincidence! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"

At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?! I work for Seven-Up!"

That’s one I knew

Very funny!

What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?

Ruth-less.

😂

Oh wow!!!! 😂😂😂 that’s hilarious.

How many wives did Solomon have?

700 wives and 300 cucumber vines

Here you go,

Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?

Pharaoh’s daughter: she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

HAHA I love it

😄 that’s a good one.

Here's an interesting one,

A man went on a nature walk. A bear began to chase him, so he climbed a tree. As he was climbing he slipped down into the bear's arms. He prayed, "Lord let this be a Christian bear." The bear said, "Lord, thank you for this food."

I don’t believe is Legends.